The most recent Supreme Court Justice appointee has been getting a lot of publicity, as expected.  These Justices handle perhaps the most difficult judgment cases in the United States.  This is where all appeals end.  Depending on the viewpoints of the Justices, their decisions could actually change the climate of these United States.

This latest nominee is said to have a lot of empathy

Obama had said he was looking for a nominee who demonstrates empathy and “intellectual fire power,” as well as possesses the “common touch.”

Now I agree that “intellectual fire power” is necessary.  After all, they are ensuring that everyone is playing by the same set of rules:

“But we will thoroughly examine her record to ensure she understands that the role of a jurist in our democracy is to apply the law even-handedly, despite their own feelings or personal or political preferences.”

Empathy – the ability to accurately comprehend and appropriately respond to others’ feelings, thoughts and needs, expressed or not – is a necessity in today’s world … to motivate, inspire and empower all levels of Corporate America.  Empathy, one of the key Emotional Intelligence elements, adds oomph to momentum and propels it towards success.

Do I want an empathetic US Supreme Court Justice on the bench, making decisions and perhaps bending our laws just because someone tugs at her heart strings?  Just because they themselves have been in that position, or know someone that has, and wants to give them a helping hand?  What if the same situation applied to someone else — of another race, religion, wealth level? Would those ‘revised laws’ apply to them?

Leaders in Corporate America need empathy … US Supreme Court Justices need to know and uphold the law.  And have the internal fortitude to do that – despite their own personal feelings.

Shari is certified in Emotional Intelligence, and speaks on increasing your EI level.  For more information on Shari’s programs, email Shari@CornerStoneStrategiesLLC.com

Where, exactly, does anger ‘live’?  I was recently told by a client “Anger is a place I go to easily”.  That is one powerful statement!  And not in a positive way.

Anger is most certainly a red color — some see it as a vibrant, electrifying red.  Others see it more of a brownish-maroon-blood red.  “I was so angry I literally saw red” has been stated by many people whose emotions have taken control.

What exactly is anger?  Danger, yes, and an attempt to change what is currently happening — to start or to stop something.  To start on another path to get the result you want.  To stop another person from talking nonsense.  To start justifying your actions.  To stop another person’s behavior.

Anger can also be tied to the past …. it is called resentment.  Making excuses for oneself and/or one’s actions usually goes hand-in-hand with this.

Anger, tied to the future, is commonly called envy or jealousy.  Excuses can be associated with future anger, as can be a put-down of one’s own actions or attempts.

When you feel the red anger rising in your body, make a conscious effort to stop this powerful emotion before it hits your mouth and overtakes your words.  Crow is never ever pleasant to eat.

For additional information on effectively managing your emotions, email Shari@CornerStoneStrategiesLLC.com

I heard this recently on a TV show … “I can smell doubt coming from you like cheap aftershave”

What a great picture that paints!  How effectively are you painting your message?

Whether we paint our messages with color, visuals, step-by-step directions or feelings, we engage our listener more fully.  All these avenues stimulate our emotional mind.  It is through this part of our brain that we decide to make purchases, befriend a stranger, pour our heart out, become angry / sad / afraid / happy or ashamed.  It is this part of our brain that puts on, or takes off, our ‘rose colored glasses’.

Our experiences are rooted in our emotions.  The more emotional an event, the more vividly and quickly we are able to recall it.  Negative emotions are not an excuse for bad behavior.  You don’t yell at someone because they made you angry.  You can choose how you will react to someone’s behaviors.

The question is … will you choose to respond in a productive manner, or will you lose control and let your emotions choose for you?

As a manager, you may not have a lot of influence over what your company can give in the way of incentives.  Options include sending a handwritten note to the employee’s home, giving special assignments as a reward to completing a project, buying your team member a cup of coffee or something significant to them. 

As a leader, you have a lot of options and alternatives:

• –>Toni Kennedy, Ohio’s Dayton Marriott Hotel’s general manager “gives [her staff] encouragement. Sometimes they don’t get it at home”
• –>Debbie Sessions, a partner with Porter Keadle Moore LLP says “I honestly believe you can throw a lot of money at people, but if you’re not paying attention to the other things, it doesn’t matter.”
• –>Debbie Dutton-Lambert, chief vocational officer of the Greater Cincinnati Behavioral Health Services says “It makes good business sense to have a humanistic and holistic approach to the workplace.” *

The true leaders of our time were able to understand their employee’s behaviors, even when the employee himself/herself doesn’t know why they react in a particular situation.  Leaders will see the value in expressing emotions appropriately, and encourage their team members to do the same.  Being aware of your team member’s emotions and mental mindset, and acting appropriately, can increase engagement and loyalty.

The emotional intelligence skills of achievement motivation, empathy and self-confidence are identified most often by top leaders and high performers. 

As leaders, we can create the positive atmosphere in our work environment that will be rewarded with loyalty, optimism and discretionary efforts. Or we can create a toxic environment that fosters back-stabbing, negativity and counter-productivity.

How do you choose to lead?

*taken from Business Courier of Cincinnati

Interesting discovery …. that autism is tied to a specific part of the brain.  And children are not necessarily born with autism.

The part of the brain, the amygdala — that houses your “fight or flight” syndrome is the key.

Autism experts agree joint attention difficulty is a key characteristic of autism. It also is the only behavior linked to a large amygdala, according to the study. Researchers found no association between repetitive behavior or other social behaviors and a large amygdala.  CNN Toddler brain difference linked to autism

The amygdala plays a huge part in the level of emotional intelligence a person has.  If a person allows their emotions to overtake their actions [more precisely, their reactions], then regret their conduct, that is an amygdala hijack.

You know what sets you off, your hot buttons.  Stop and think — remember “count to 10…”?  That gives you enough time for your rational brain to kick in [and kick your butt] and gives you presence of mind to walk away.

Emotional intelligence.  An essential element in great leadership.

Call Shari for more information on how to learn EI techniques.

How many ways can we experience indecision?

“Paralysis by Analysis” is perhaps one of the most common … too much information to assimilate and comprehend – heaven forbid we make a judgment error!

Trying to determine the most cost-effective manner – in not wanting to waste money we end up wasting time.

Firmly believing we only have one chance to make a good impression, we weigh all options until the very last minute.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After we wallow in this strategic indecision pond, our execution pain attaches itself to catastrophic thinking:  “What if I made the ‘wrong’ choice/decision?  I’ll look like I don’t know what I am doing -  it will look bad on the entire flight department – I might lose my job – I won’t be able to find another one soon – I’ll have to move in with my family!”

How do you stop this downward spiral?  Become cognizant of your perception, ‘patterns’ and preconceived notions.  You then regain the power to stop these damaging thoughts.  This power propels you into action.  For immediate specifics on effectively dealing with this process, contact Shari.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is your team facing stress, survivor’s guilt or scarcity mentality?  These are common precursors of team dysfunctions.  Shari is the only speaker and consultant that combines the human factors elements of communication styles, emotional intelligence and how your brain changes your reality.  She works with aviation leaders and their flight department teams to fend off these conflicts.

Shari is available for breakout sessions, workshops, and can open or close your conference with a riveting keynote address on a variety of communication themes.

Contact Shari to discuss if she is a right fit for your organization’s communication challenges

The studies have finally caught up with what we all know:  business owners are losing sleep because of the economy.  Anyone that owns a business with less than 99 employees, is an executive for a company with less than 99 employees, or works for a small company, has known this since at least last November.

Other insights from the Atlanta Business Journal

• 81 percent expect to cut costs in some way in 2009
• 42 percent expect to eliminate or cut back expenses in 2009
• 21 percent expect to lay off workers in 2009

So how are you dealing with your employees’ stress?  Are you keeping your communication lines open, or are you avoiding any discussions on feelings?  Are you honest and direct about the state of your company, or are you telling everyone that “life is grand and we have nothing to worry about”.

These are precisely the types of seminars that Shari offers …working with companies that know there are communication challenges or issues, yet do not know how to begin or continue dealing with them.

If this reminds you of your company, call Shari at 281.992.4136 to see if and how she can help.

In talking with a colleague, Linda Drummond, we were finalizing arrangements on where and when to meet. I had another meeting up the freeway from where she and I were meeting, and I wanted to end our meeting with plenty of time [in Houston traffic] to get to my next meeting.

As we were finalizing our plans, she ended our conversation with “Since you’ll only be ten minutes away, it’ll give you 30 minutes to get there.”

I paused and chuckled.  Only then did she think of what she said and realized it wasn’t exactly what she wanted to say, or what she thought she said.

How many times do you speak off the top of your head, not realizing how your words sound?  And how often do you realize it?

It’s not what you said, it’s what they think they heard.

Interesting discussion on Bill O’Reilly … they were talking about how women, such as Valerie Bertinelli, who lose weight are shown on TV in bikini’s.  There apparently are also quite a few ads with other stars – Cindy Crawford, Heather Locklear – in skimpy bikinis.

The statement was made by Tammy Bruce that this was to inspire other women [to look good] and not the use of a woman to be used as an object and as next week’s dishrag.  This is about context and intent  … most people understand that.  the problem is not the woman’s body — it is the context and who is using it.

Ms Bruce also mentioned that she has seen umpteen pictures of Michael Phelps “in a speedo the size of a rubber band”.  If the women in the flattering pictures in bikini’s were perceived as ‘objects’, would Michael Phelps also be seen as an object?

It’s not what was published, it’s what your brain interpreted it as.

The Desjardin Financial Security Health Survey reports that

” … as a result of the strain, absenteeism and disability are on the rise. Presenteism too — that’s when folks show up but aren’t really engaged and giving it their best…in some cases they barely even give it anything at all. ”

I’m sure workers in the USA can relate and should be included in this.  As a leader or an executive …. how are you to handle this stress and ‘presenteism’? 

If ever a clear business case of needing a high degree of emotional intelligence techniques, here it is.  As a leader, you need to be aware of the emotional thermometer of your direct reports … what is setting them off AND how they are reacting.  Have their reactions changed … either gotten more intense or more subdued? Are they quieter than they normally are? Or are they louder than what they were several months ago?  Are they laughing unnaturally?  Or smiling sadly?

Your direct reports may not feel comfortable sharing with you personal problems.  It is incumbent upon you, as their leader, to learn their distress signs, give them a comfortable environment to express their emotions, and support them in the manner they need to be supported.

For more information on emotional intelligence skills, listening techniques and effective coaching, contact Shari.