One of my passions, and as luck would have it, most popular workshops is the one on communicating in the way that your listener needs to be communicated to. In other words, talk slower to those that talk slower, and speed up your speech when you are talking to a fast talker.

I was giving this seminar last week to an aviation department. We were talking about the different personality dimensions, how some people don’t mind if you get straight into your business. Other people need to be eased into the business discussion. That is important in gaining rapport and building respect.

One person from the back of the room spoke up “Shari, we run on tight deadlines and with a sense of urgency. We don’t have time to spend 5-10 minutes talking about someone’s family. We need to take immediate action!”  With that, he puffed out his chest and very proudly sat down.

“That’s true” I responded “your industry and your situations are immediate and time cannot be wasted. There are different ways to say ‘drop the wheels’. You can say it harsh and with an edge to your voice, or you can say it with the same amount of urgency yet in a softer tone with no edge, and with a bit of a smile or a relaxed face. You are still stressing the urgency. You are simply getting the message across in the best way that your listener will hear it and take action. If you choose the first way with a person that is not aggressive, they may back off and become intimidated. That’s what you want to avoid.”

So let me ask you …. What did you say, and what did they think they heard?