Do you remember getting up this morning and getting ready for work?  Showering, brushing your teeth, fixing your breakfast, driving to work?  If you are like most people, you put our brain on ‘automatic pilot’ and just do these things.  I know I have often driving to work and not recalled the drive or the traffic.  [And no I was not drinking!].

Automatic thought is very different than problem solving thought.  You use different parts of your brain for each.

Some of our automatic thought are reflexes, and that is part of your reptilian brain.

Your other ‘automatic thinking’ is because those tasks are routine and the actions for those routine tasks are ‘etched’ in your mind.  Those tasks have their own mental mindmap.

Let something happen on your way to work out of the ordinary and your thoughts will immediately focus on your driving.  For instance, if your normal road to work is under construction and you have to zig-zag, your thoughts will immediately zero in to your driving.

Remember:  Multi-tasking is a myth.  Your brain cannot simultaneously focus on two activities that need your attention.

Stay tuned for more brain revelations

Each side of our brain can succumb to overwhelm.
And there are two distinctly different ways to overcome overwhelm.

Your left brain is your logical brain, your analytical and logical thought,

along with your math and science skills reside here.  Your left brain works most efficiently when it is naming and categorizing, or when dealing with the 3 R’s [reading, writing, arithmetic].  Information is managed in sequential manner.

Your right brain is your creative brain, your intuition, creativity and art and music sensors come from this side.  Your right brain whirls when it encounters opportunities to use imagination and non-verbal information.  Information does not have to be in any sort of pattern.

When you are left-brained overwhelmed [too much work to do in too little time], you are spinning in a logical quagmire.  The best thing to do is to unleash your creative side:  color [outside the lines], sing, dance, exercise …. any activity that you don’t really have to ‘think’ to do.

When you are right-brained overwhelmed, review multiplication tables in your head!  That’ll quickly get your left brain engaged so your right brain can take a breather.

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THANKS to Daniel Slapo & Corporate Flight Attendant Insider for sponsoring my break-out session at the recent NBAA Flight Attendant Conference.  Evaluations are in and include  “Would love to have Shari Frisinger come back”, “CRM for everyone!”, “Shari way great!!”, “Conflict Resolution was a great topic!”, “Shari was one of the best speakers.”  I will have my video from the conference uploaded soon…be sure to check it out!

Download my handout from my Aviation webpage

National Association of Catering Executives

Sugarcreek Country Club

A politician recently said “Americans have a right to expect success.”

Now I agree with this concept; what I disagree with is their definition of ’success’.  Even though ’success’ is not one of those ambiguous words we discuss in my communications seminars, people’s definition of ’success’, much like their definition of ‘always’, ’soon’, ’sometimes’ and the like, can be drastically different. 

Do you use words that can have a different meaning than the one you intended?  Are you talking with your listener in mind — with their values, their perspective and their experience?  Or are you thrusting your own ideals and opinions on the other person?

It’s not what you said … it’s what they think they heard!

The H1N1 infection is small compared to the most recent ‘germ’ to affect us.  Yes, it’s true.  There is something that can spread more quickly and have a greater affect on mankind …. it’s contagious and, to make matters more difficult, people don’t have to touch, sneeze or cough to infect others!

I’m talking about emotions …positive or negative …. happy, sad, angry, afraid, ashamed.  And all versions thereof.  Past, present and future. 

When you hear someone laugh, how long does it take you to begin chuckling?  If the person talking to you is frustrated, does some of that frustration rub off on you?  Does talking to a calm, softer-spoken person calm you down?

The more you are aware of your own emotional triggers, and those of others, and can act accordingly and not react spontaneously, the more you will motivate, inspire and influence others.

We don’t realize how easily our emotions can infiltrate the moods of others.   Even if we are not in the ‘direct line of fire’, we are affected by the spears that are thrown.  They can be like a bunch of balloons released in the sky.  They can also be like grenades, levelling the ground where they fall.

At a recent Leadership workshop I facilitated, we opened the session sharing our ‘lessons learned’. Three had to do with listening and 12 had to do with effective communication. Among the responses were “check for understanding”, “avoid being judgmental”, “quick and constructive feedback, “daily communication” and “management by walking around”.

What does this mean? Effective communication is at the root of leadership … both good and bad leadership. Communication must be two way, and consistent. By consistent I don’t mean consistently occasionally … consistently frequently. [Yes I know 'occasionally' and 'frequently' are equally ambiguous].

Ask questions of your staff questions like “How’s the project coming?” “Were you able to reach so-and-so?” and “Anything cropping up we didn’t count on?”. You can follow these questions up with probing questions to elicit more information, especially if you think there is something else they want to discuss.

Feedback would include thing such as “Good job on the report …. it had all the information I needed”, “Thanks for the timely email update” and “Your expertise is exactly what we need for this project”.

As a leader, being accessible and open to discussion, will garner you loyalty and a smoother, more efficient team.

Remember, it isn’t what you said, it’s what they think they heard.

Words can comfort us, excite us, or set us off. There is a one in five chance that our message will be misunderstood. When we use words that immediately raise the defenses of the receiver of our messages, these words can be called “Fighting Words”.

For instance, I was listening to snippets from one of the political candidates. I don’t recall what he was commenting on … I only remember he said “Like I said before …” and “As I previously stated …”. Think about it …. what are they really saying? Do they just want to jog your memory? Is it said to add emphasis? Or is it said to be intimidating and derogatory?

Continuing along this path, how did YOU take it? As a memory jogger? Or as figurative slap in your face?

Remember, it isn’t what you said, it’s what they think they heard.

Greater Heights Area Chamber of Commerce

Thursday, August 13

Breakfast at 7:00 am

Memorial Herman Northwest Hospital at Ella and 1635 North Loop West.

I recently facilitated a leadership seminar. The attendees were first and second line supervisors, having been in that position for up to 10 years.

We were talking about staff members being focused on the success of the team and the company, and a bell curve as a result of corporate research was pre sented. This research showed that 12-14% of company employees can actually have a detrimental effect on the other workers … low morale, apathetic attitude, not necessarily a team player, and an average producer at best.

Several of the attendees began speculating on why those in the lower portion of the bell curve were there …. were they in the wrong position? Were there extenuating circumstances? If the employee changed departments, would they still be in that lower portion? In other words, not only how did the employee become unproductive, but what was the root cause of why they were such ‘problem’ employees?

I had simply presented the graph and the information; some had, in their minds, interpreted the data to draw conclusions from my statement.

What are YOU interpreting and drawing conclusions from? And is that the information and the point that was presented to you?