This week’s “Points to Ponder” brought in many comments.  I’ve included several here: 

That is a nice thought to share!  Thank you for all that you do and all that you are!  YOU are amazing!

…and to you, too:  Thanks!

You are absolutely, fantastically, fabulous.  Have an incredible day!  Hope you are surviving in this crazy world.

Damn this is powerful!

I’ve included it below in case you are not on my mailing list:

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, it is definitely time for us to give thanks for all that we have … family, our health, our attitude, food, home and clothing …..

How do you thank the people in your life?  How many different ways can you find to say ‘thank you’?  Let me get you started …. “I appreciate you”, “I appreciate … <how you handled>, <what you did>”, “You are amazing”, “You are ingenious”, “You are incredible”, and the list goes on and on.

Remember what Ralph Kramden would tell Alice?  “Baby, you’re the greatest!”

I challenge you to find different ways to verbally convey your thanks to the people that are important to you.

I had ‘frozen shoulder’ and am reminded of it when I travel.   I won’t check my suitcases, and can usually put it in the overhead bin by myself.  There are times, however, that I cannot raise my arm and have the strength to push it into the bin.   

Frozen shoulder is when “The tissues around the joint stiffen, scar tissue forms, and shoulder movements become difficult and painful.” [http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/frozen-shoulder-topic-overview]

I went to an orthopedic specialist to satisfy my primary care physician. The specialist looked over my x-ray and, quite seriously, asked “How long have you had this?”

“Oh doctor!” I wailed, “FOREVER!!!”

Still very seriously he asked “How many years?”

“Oh” I replied rather sheepishly, “about two months”.

To me, two months with limited mobility in my left shoulder was forever. It hampered me when I travel by plane, when I get dressed and when I want to carry anything over my shoulder. It even affected me when I’m trying to sleep! In my mind, and in my reality, I had this ailment for ‘forever’. In the doctor’s mind, ‘forever’ was measured in years.

Let me ask you, how long is your ‘forever’? And is it the same as your listener’s ‘forever’?

NASA Ames Research Center reported that 70% of all ASRS reports were because of communication errors, and expectation error was the highest single cause.  Expectation error ranks amont the top human factor errors.

When squelching or another communication breakup occurs, the pilot completes the command with what he/she thinks the thought should be.  In nearly 70% of cases, the direction dealt with altitude.  Although there were no fatalities, there were serious repercussions.

How does this relate to your work environment?  How many times do you “fill in the blanks” when your attention turns elsewhere?  Your brain can only focus on one attention point at a time … only one!  In addition it pieces together slices of today’s reality to correlate it to a situation you have encountered in your past.

So when you are talking with a colleague, team member or direct report and your blackberry chimes that you have new emails or a new phone call, do you automatically and unconsciously tune the other person out?  And what important words are you missing when you do?

It’s not what they said, it’s what you think you heard.

So here we are, about six weeks short of 2010. How have you done with your 2009 Resolutions, or the goals you have set for yourself this year? Or do you not set them because you lose interest in them?

What happened to that excitement about making positive changes in your life? About how you are going to lessen your stress, treat people better, smile more, exercise daily, walk your dog, eat less, save money …… Do you remember how you eagerly looked forward to starting, or continuing along this improvement path? Can you close your eyes and feel it?

How do you decide on what your goals will be … or what you want to achieve? Sometimes, as in some work environments, it is ‘dictated’ to us. Other times we can negotiate on specific elements. Still other times, it is totally up to ourselves on where we will be three, six, nine or twelve months from now. 

Write down not only your goals and milestones, and also the benefits of achieving them … how will that change your life … can also act as strong motivators when you feel your self-control wavering. Drawing pictures and clipping items from magazines to putting them on your vision board will keep you focused and incentive-ized to continue.

In other words, have you made your thinking visual?

Many of the seminars I give deal with communication styles, emotional intelligence skills, leadership, listening  and building teams. In a recent seminar, the discussion was centered around whether you have a need to be in control or are you happy being more flexible.

One gentleman was vocal throughout each break that several years ago his assessment result was closer to the ‘in control’ highpoint than it is now.  Since he’s been moved to a job he doesn’t like and was stripped of his control, he’s more on the ‘flexible’ side.  

What I believe happened was that he responded to the questions how he thought he should answer, not necessarily how he is in everyday reality.   In doing that, he remained in control, at least in this area.

He changed his reality to match his perception. Yet his reality shone through.

It’s wasn’t what he said, it’s what I think I heard.

I found another article that states workers admit to 47% of the time spent on-line at work has nothing at all to do with their work tasks. 47%!! That’s amazing!

The article goes on to state that 60% of people surveyed “they experience mild to moderate procrastination in their lives while 6% are chronic procrastinators”.

What exactly is ‘mild to moderate procrastination’? Is that being online for 30-45 minutes at a time, vs. 60 minutes, which would be considered chronic? Or is 15-30 minutes mild to moderate, and anything over 30 minutes chronic?

Or, perhaps they measured procrastination in hours? 2-3 hours is mild to moderate, and over 3 hours is chronic?

Be careful when you use ambiguous words such as ‘mild’, ‘moderate’ and ‘chronic’. They have different meanings for different people. You could get frustrated waiting for their mild procrastination to end, or be surprised when their moderate procrastination equals your mild procrastination.

It’s not what you said, it’s what they think they heard.

Mountain State University, Altamonte Springs Florida Campus. 

This three-day three-credit course is offered as part of MSU’s Aviation undergraduate degree.  We will be touring Cessna’s Service Center and FlightSafety in Orlando.

Captainitis, the phenomenon that occurs when subordinates do not speak up to “the person in charge”, can rear its ugly head in many ways.

In February 1980, a United Airlines career second officer [based on his lower than desired level of pilot proficiency], became the first officer!  The captain, a friendly grandfather-type figure, did not challenge the decision when the first officer announced that he and the second officer would be changing positions. 

Even though the cockpit recordings contained inferences of uncomfortableness, encouragement and helpful cues, the captain did not acknowledge the tension these officers were feeling.  Unfortunately, this story ends with a crash and no survivors.

Both officers wanted to please the captain.  The original second officer [who became the first officer] wanted to please his ’superior’, and did not communicate his uneasiness in becoming the first officer.  The captain wanted to please his first and second officers, and to build the confidence in the second officer. 

Back in those days, CRM – crew resource management – was not prevalent and though of very highly.  Senior Captains considered CRM – essentially a form of team building – for sissies and psycho-babble.  They could not understand why they had to be ‘part of the team’ and how that would promote safety.

CRM back then is very much like EI – Emotional Intelligence – today.  What benefits will come from understanding our own emotional triggers, and understanding what other people are experiencing?  Not just physically – sweaty palms, squirming – but linking these actions to what they are emotionally experiencing.    Empathy and compassion may be the two most difficult emotions for leaders to show. 

What would have happened if the second officer spoke up with his true feelings? If the captain would have spoken up and stopped the officers from swapping?

It wan’t what the officers said, it’s what the others thought they heard.

I’ve been doing research on the aviation accident that happened in Tenerife in the Canary Islands, Spain in 1977. This is an absolutely fascinating study in looking at how each element contributed to the fiery crash.

A chain of events is a sequence of events that, occurring consecutively, caused an accident. Had only one or two of these events happened, the accident may not have happened.

It all began with a bomb explosion in the Las Palmas terminal, diverting all flights to Tenerife. The KLM captain opted to let his passengers off the aircraft. Heavy fog rolled in. When it rolled back out, briefly, passengers were not quick to reboard.

From a communications perspective, the dialogue between the air traffic controllers, the KLM pilot, and the Pan Am pilot is a comedy of errors. When people from two aircraft talk on the radio at the same time, squelching occurs. This happened at a critical time when Pam Am stated they were still taxiing down the runway.

We will never know exactly what was rolling through the Captain’s mind … possibly expiring crew duty times, possibly the monies the airline would have to spend if the flight stayed overnight, perhaps “we’ve come this far we need to complete the task” …. was it loss avoidance or a tightly-held commitment?

As in all our lives, it isn’t what you said, it’s what they think they heard.

I was re-reading an article in a prior edition of Business & Commercial Aviation, entitled Cockpit Cacophony.  It states that

“The noisy cockpit environment certainly doesn’t help the communication of important information.  A review of 250 NASA ASRS …. business jet flight crews found that fully 2/3 involved communication errors as a root cause and of those a quarter involved read-back errors and an equal number involved expectation errors … High noise levels can impair concentration and cause fatigue and insomnia. “

We know how important read-back is …. very much like summarizing a discussion.  Can the noisy cockpit environment be compared to the noisy work environment?  Do phone ringing, other people talking, emails dinging and music playing equate to a noisy work environment?  Does your preoccupation add to the ‘noise’?

We know that the brain cannot multi-task …. your mind can focus on only one attention-needing activity at a time.  We can walk and talk …. only if we don’t have to watch our step.  If so, then our minds will focus on the rough terrain and not be able to maintain a sane train of thought.  If your mind is sifting through the background noise, it is not able to concentrate on the words that are being directed towards you.

How about the expectation errors?  How many times have you begun listening to someone and were sure you knew what they were going to say, so you complete their sentence?  Or you expect something to happen so you disregard the signs contradicting your expectation?

It’s not what they said, it’s what you think you heard.