Why don’t we tell others how to manage or communicate with ourselves? This seems like a very simple concept, doesn’t it? Think about how much easier, or simpler, our lives would be if we were forthright with this information.
Aahh Behold the Ultimate Truth! We are! We tell others what we value, what is important to us. We just don’t always pay attention to the signals that we are sent.
When I changed financial planners, my new one felt it was important to review with me, year by year, my contributions and my disbursements. After listening to this for only a few minutes [believe me it felt like forever] I moved her finger down to the last disbursement. I wanted to know what year my money would run out. The outcome, the result, the bottom line, was important to me. Not the details. From that point forward she knew not to bog me down with details … simply give me the end result.
Do you have someone in your life that talks about their family, friends, colleagues or other people? To build rapport with them, ask them about these people. Smile and nod when they relate their latest adventures. Then you can get to the point. Otherwise they may hear that you do not like them or are not interested in them.
Do you have someone in your life that keeps their personal life private? They are focused on business, tasks, things and achievements. If so, minimize the small non-business talk and get directly to the point. Give them the result first. Otherwise they may hear that you are flighty and a time-waster.
An emotionally intelligent person senses the communication needs of the other person — or they are confident enough to ask.
Remember, it isn’t what you said, it’s what they think they heard.
