If you believe the research that your eyes sends bits and pieces of information about your environment to your brain and that this information what you believe is true based on your past emotional experiences. Are you seeing and interpreting the situation the same way everyone else is? Is there room for misinterpretation?
When you feel a discussion becoming heated, is this a conflict situation to you – and one where you want to avoid? Or do you see it as normal discussions, a way to exchange information and not heated at all? How do the other parties see this situation?
Take negotiating — you believe there needs to be some ‘give and take’, right? You assume that your ‘give’ is equal to the other person’s ‘take’, and that you both agree on that ‘fact’. So you proceed along those lines, not realizing that your ‘give’ is really not equal to their ‘take’ in their mind.
Have you ever asked someone [your spouse, a coworker or a direct report] to so something and their response is “Sure, I’ll do it soon”. How long is “soon”? Is it 5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 days? ‘Soon’ to me is within 30 minutes. I daresay that many others do not agree with my definition of ‘soon’.
Elements of emotional intelligence is the knowing yourself and how you perceive situations, and being cognizant of how others react to your behaviors. How astute at these are you?
For additional examples or to read further, check out my newsletter.
