From one of my Quick Communique: Points to Ponder newsletter:

So many people come from a position of certainty.. when it’s really personal opinion, their perception of what they saw or heard. They can be sure.. but without accuracy or evidence..

A lot of conflict comes from unbending certainty – especially when one of the people know the logic is flawed or facts indicate something else.

When was the last time you looked past the words and thought through, for yourself, the accuracy of someone’s statement?  We can speak with authority on what we believe strongly in ….. and others may believe it is fact.  You may think “Well they were positively absolutely sure about what they were talking about.”

There are certain personality types that will always come across as strong and certain.  There are other types that come across as meek and flexible.  With the above logic, those people that are not forceful in their words are not accurate in their statements? Personality types play a major factor in the intensity of certainty and accuracy.

I have found that people will toss around statements – and they talk with authority – yet when asked “how do you know that?” they clam up.  Have we become so accustomed to talking without thinking – and more importantly – listening and accepting without challenging – that we are now a surface-thinking society?

Contact Shari for more information on this topic; she offers seminars to help you understand this topic more thoroughly.

It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it

Think of the people you work with … how do their thought processes differ?  Do some quickly decide, while others need more information?  Do some look at the personal side and how it will affect the team, while others look at the situation from a strictly-business perspective? (more…)

Think of the last time you were in a meeting and you and your team were discussing your latest project. You needed to propel the team to continue as they have been, or to put forth more effort, or to get them to do what they really may not (more…)

Speaking of natural behavioral styles, the Washington Business Journal had an article about this very topic … why are more HR executives not at the executive table? There are a variety of reasons; however one of the top set is because of the communication style of HR Executives. (more…)

If I asked you if you have ever intentionally run a red light, what would your response be?

How about if I asked if you have ever slid though a red light?

Aren’t they the same thing? Don’t they both mean that you broke the law and proceeded when you should have stopped?

Which sounds better …. Less threatening, friendlier?

If you asked someone whose communication or personality style was opposite yours, would they agree with you?  Generally speaking, people that are more forceful and aggressive prefer the action words and words that have a ‘hard’ sound like the ‘k’.  People that are more introverted prefer the ’s’ and the ‘c’ sounds over the harsh ‘k’ sounds.

Do the words we use really make a difference?  Try it for yourself.

It isn’t what I said, it’s what you think you heard.

Picking up from where we left off in having those difficult conversations … Chances are you don’t relish having this conversation. The other person’s defenses may be up, or they may be wary of your requesting the meeting. Don’t apologize for having to (more…)

I will be hosting a webinar soon on the above three topics …. and what exactly do they have in common? It’s nearly mid-year and usually at this point in time, people will look at their goals to assess their year. What is your reaction … joy or (more…)