In a rerun of the TV Reality Show Deal or No Deal episode, Howie told the contestant: The banker wants you to have your dream because his dream is to get you out of here.

Usually Howie tells the contestant that the banker wants the contestant to leave with the least amount of money. The banker usually does not mention anything positive about what the contestant wants or will leave with.

What dream does the banker think you want? Is your version of ‘your dream’ the same as the banker’s version of  ‘your dream’?  Is that a contradiction, or simply a benevolent banker?

Now on to your communication:  How many times do you say something, and really it’s only part of your thought process. You don’t “tell the why” of your statement. Others may not know your true intentions. Or the rationale behind your actions.

When we don’t make our thinking visible, we run the risk of our message being mis-interpreted.  Remember, even though you are with other people discussing the same issue, your statements can indeed be perceived erroneously.

Remember, it isn’t what you thought you said, it’s what they think they heard.

From my stockbroker: 

Chains of Thought
Traditional financial theory assumes all investment decisions are made rationally, based on the best available information. In theory, the result is an efficient market—one in which prices accurately reflect fundamentals, such as earnings and interest rates.

However, it’s not always easy to reconcile financial theory with financial reality. Investors often appear determined to ignore the fundamentals, both in bidding stock prices up and slamming them back down again.

With this in mind, I remain convinced that all decisions are made emotionally, and backed up by logic.  I’ll wait while you dispute and debate this statement ……..

Look at it this way … when you have invested time and/or money into something, there comes a point where you need to decide to stick with it [knowing the chances of success are slim to none], or to cut your losses.

There are those of us that will keep an insanely optimistic hope and stick with it to the point of unheard of losses …. especially when it comes to money and the stock market.

Even TV shows demonstrate this … Deal or No Deal is a prime example!  How many times has the contestant had under $1000 on ‘the board’ and the banker offers $500 or so.  They don’t take it … they say “well I came with nothing … I’ve come this far …”.

How long have you stayed in a situation “because you’ve …….”.  Could it be because of you changed the situation, you could be faced with lengthy explanations, second guessing yourself and possibly emotional turmoil.

It’s so much easier to just ride out the status quo …..

I was watching “Deal or No Deal” recently when the banker offered the female contestant $266,000 for her briefcase. To tempt her more, he offered to double the size of the offer if she would kiss a huge ugly frog. She had only two $1 million briefcases left [out of 10] and about six more briefcases to open.

My first thought was “Kiss a frog for $532 thousand dollars! That’s half a million dollars! DO IT!! I’d kiss a frog for over half a million dollars! Just close your eyes, crinkle up your nose, take a deep breath and pucker up. Kiss the darn frog!”

Then Howie repeated the offer “The banker will double the size of your offer if you kiss this frog.” Before I could shout “Kiss the frog!” again, I stopped and thought about what Howie had said. “The banker will double the size of the offer …” Hmmm …. good thing she was still pondering this question.

Let me ask you this …. did Howie mean the banker would offer $532,000 if the contestant kissed the frog? Or would the banker make the numbers in the offer twice their size?

It’s not what the banker said, it’s what we think we heard