My brother, Norm, called to ask my professional coaching opinion on how he should handle a work situation: “One of the guys I work with presented one of my ideas, but did not give me credit for the idea. I want to confront him, and I want to do it professionally.”

Before we could discuss approaches he should take [and he had an outline of what to say], I asked, “Norm which idea exactly did he claim as yours?”

“Aahh”, my brother replied, “He was really clever in what he said. He never directly claimed the idea was his; he strongly implied it by saying “I’ve used this for several teams and…..” If one didn’t know better, they would think he came up with the idea. In fact, when I told my boss (his boss, too) about it, my boss said “He’s always presented the information that way”. Unfortunately for my colleague, there are 2 years worth of his reports with a different way (that no one understands) of presenting the information. So, when my boss and I looked (together) at his previous presentations, my boss saw that I was correct…So, because of what this guy actually said, I can’t say that he claimed the idea as his – that is a false statement. He did imply it, though.”

So my brother’s coworker never came right out and said “This is my idea”, “This isn’t my idea” or “This is Norm’s idea” ….. he bypassed that piece of information.

It isn’t what you said; it’s what they think they heard.

Tell me, what did you hear?

[Look for part 2 … the solution … in a future blog posting.]

Every action has two sides … one side faces the sun and the other faces darkness. If you are facing the darkness, you remain in the past.  Being chained to the past keeps negative feelings churning ….. remorse, jealousy, revenge, guilt …. variations of three of your (more…)

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands — A Dutch woman who was the oldest person in the world when she died at age 115 in 2005 appeared sharp right up to the end, joking that pickled herring was the secret to her longevity.

Scientists say that Henrikje van Andel-Schipper’s mind was probably as good as it seemed: a post-mortem analysis of her brain revealed few signs of Alzheimer’s or other diseases commonly associated with a decline in mental ability in old age…

Asked what advice she would give to people who want to live a long time, she once quipped: “Keep breathing.”

You have a long time to learn how to communicate effectively …. Begin now!

Each side of our brain can succumb to overwhelm. And there are two distinctly different ways to overcome overwhelm.

Your left brain is your logical brain, your analytical and logical thought,

along with your math and science skills reside here.  Your left brain works most efficiently when it is naming and categorizing, or when dealing with the 3 R’s [reading, writing, arithmetic].  Information is managed in sequential manner.

Your right brain is your creative brain, your intuition, creativity and art and music sensors come from this side.  Your right brain whirls when it encounters opportunities to use imagination and non-verbal information.  Information does not have to be in any sort of pattern.

When you are left-brained overwhelmed [too much work to do in too little time], you are spinning in a logical quagmire.  The best thing to do is to unleash your creative side:  color [outside the lines], sing, dance, exercise …. any activity that you don’t really have to ‘think’ to do.

When you are right-brained overwhelmed, review multiplication tables in your head!  That’ll quickly get your left brain engaged so your right brain can take a breather.

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Join Shari as she talks about improving your business acumen and the foundation of effective leadership.

The New Mexico Business Weekly had an interesting article. It stated that research has shown that knowing someone’s natural behavioral style how they act and react in situations will help you match them to the position that will keep them engaged. And we know what happens when employees are engaged: (more…)

Think of your staff … each one uses a different thought process  when faced with a challenge. Some will look at the personal side and how it will affect the team, others look at the situation from a strictly-business perspective.  Which one, or combination of these, best reflects you? And (more…)

Do you remember getting up this morning and getting ready for work?  Showering, brushing your teeth, fixing your breakfast, driving to work?  If you are like most people, you put our brain on ‘automatic pilot’ and just do these things.  I know I have often driving to work and not (more…)

Inter-team conflict will never go away.  One of the basics that needs to be discussed among the team members is “How do you feel about conflict?”  Is conflict neutral?  or does it cause emotions to run high?  I contend that it is our perception of conflict that rules our response to it. 

In my seminars on communication styles, emotional intelligence skills at work and how your brain deals with people’s behavior, we discuss and dialogue this exact question.  Some behavior dimensions don’t see conflict as anything other than normal everyday living. They thrive on it and need to be ‘the winner’. Others will avoid conflict at all costs … they will adapt and adjust to situations rather than state disagreement or disapproval.

So how do you handle the person that enjoys dealing with conflict? Generally speaking, do not back down. These behaviors are indicative of someone who enjoys perceived power and/or who has a strong personality. For those people that avoid conflict, talking in a non-abrasive and more empathetic way will be helpful in working out the dissention.

More details and information can be found on my website, bringing this seminar in-house, or by calling Shari.

Remember it isn’t what you said, it’s what they think they heard”

How much of your motivation is emotional?  And how much is based on your logical, objective needs? Every decision we make is made from an emotional base, and we justify with our logical prowess.  When we spend money, it gives us a high.  The more we spend and the larger (more…)