These next four blogs come to you by way of my good friend and colleague, Jason Cordoba, Manager of Small Business Systems -Aviation Industry at Component Control. I met Jason several years ago at an ACPC conference … he was instrumental in keeping the break-out session crowd under control. In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). It’s all very physiological too, because use it visualize the concept that good can’t exist without evil (or the absence of good is evil)

I love old movies … the dialog, the classic stories, the high acting quality. And I grew up on them, so they hold great childhood memories.

I was watching an episode of Night Gallery entitled “Make Me Laugh”. It’s the story of a has-been comic [Godfrey Cambridge] who, in a bar, meets up with a gentleman professing to be able to work miracles. Unfortunately, the miracle worker does not always give the wish-ee exactly what they want … he ‘misses’ so to speak.

The comic presses for his miracle. “I want to make people laugh” he demands. He gets his miracle. In fact, no matter what he says, and even when he only stands on stage, people laugh. And laugh hysterically. Of course this is not what the comic really wants … and he changes his miracle demand to “I want to touch people, I want to make them cry.” He then gets hit by a cab and indeed makes people cry.

The comic knew what he wanted, knew what he meant. The ‘miracle worker’ gave the comic exactly what he asked for.

Let me ask you, are you clear in your requests?

It isn’t what you said, it’s what they think they heard”

(more…)

A man takes his large dog to the vet. “My dog is cross-eyed.  Is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” says the vet.  “Let’s have a look at him.”  The vet picks up the dog, examines the dog’s eyes and ears, and (more…)

Have you ever thought about the power of intention? And how it can have a sweeping effect on your current life?

You have to create the intention that you really want, not the intention that is driving you crazy. For when you focus on what you really want, obstacles melt away, your goal becomes crystal clear, and in an odd sense you get ‘tunnel vision’. Not the kind that blinds you from seeing all the risks and as a result you act irrationally. The type of vision that allows you to easily say ‘no’ to those tasks, favors, requests and actions that will not help you reach your goal.

It’s even more imperative that you explore more deeply what you want —- including “the why” helps clarify and crystalize your intentions.  It has other benefits:

• works your mind to explore all consequences
• keeps your brainstorming abilities sharp
• helps you to focus on what you really want or need, exploring all options and alternatives
• can bring to light additional pitfalls or obstacles you have not thought of

This process will also help you face your fears, identify your negative feelings and allow you to capitalize on your positive emotions. (more…)

…lessons would be a waste of money.”

In an episode of F Troop, Sgt. O’Rourke said this to the bugler H. Dobbs. You would then think that Dobbs played the bugle beautifully, thus not needing lessons.

In reality, Dobbs was an awful bugler. His ‘Reveille’, ‘Assembly’ and ‘Retreat’ sounded like off-key notes strung together, and he only occasionally played them well enough to be recognized.

How many times do we accept the ‘positive’ meaning of what we hear, oblivious to all the implications that are involved.  We hear what we want to hear, not what the other person wants to tell us.

Sure, we excuse our words by saying “We must be professional, we must be tactful, we must not hurt their feelings, we must be …….”.  Yet are we really sparing their feelings and looking out for their best interests?  More often, we simply want to extract ourselves from a sticky situation.  We don’t want to deal with our own emotions, and we surely don’t want to deal with theirs.

The proper thing to do is to acknowledge their attempts and, if it is really important, be honest with them – conscious of their emotions.  And keeping yours in check too.

It isn’t what he said, it’s what we think we heard.

I gave a Supervisor and Communications seminar recently to first and second level supervisors.  One of the topics the President wanted me to discuss was “How do you let your direct reports, and others that are not your direct reports, know their jobs are important?” Instead of (more…)

Why don’t we tell others how to manage or communicate with ourselves? This seems like a very simple concept, doesn’t it? Think about how much easier, or simpler, our lives would be if we were forthright with this information. Aahh Behold the Ultimate Truth! We are! We (more…)

We seem to go in cycles of “You said ….” “No I didn’t, I said …” “No you didn’t …”, and we are in the midst of one of those cycles now.  I am reminded of a trip to an attorney to review a many-page legal document. I do (more…)

Interesting discussion I had recently in a Behavioral Leadership seminar:  does poor performance indicate bad behavior? Is a person with bad behavior always a poor performer?  Does a poor performer always have bad behavior? What constitutes ‘bad behavior’?  Is it questioning the status quo?  Is (more…)

We know that men and women think differently.  A recent study by Northwestern University in Chicago reports:

the best bosses are inspirational mentors who encourage their subordinates to develop their abilities and creatively change their organisations. This is referred to as a ‘transformational’ style of leadership – similar to the way in which good teachers manage their students and something that women do naturally. In contrast, men adopt a ‘transactional’ management style which is more likely to see them dole out punishments for poor performance and reward good behaviour.

The article goes on to say:

In fact, according to both studies, women are faced with a dichotomy: on one hand, if they act like a leader, using typically men characteristics and abandoning their typically female personality profile, they are perceived as being hard, but if they act like a woman, they are perceived as being inefficient, since typically male personality traits are considered more effective leadership characteristics.

Indeed there is a difference in leadership styles — women are not being paranoid when they (more…)